It’s the way you look at me when I look at you. You give me those feelings that I can’t explain. It’s becoming known to me that my crush for you is growing into a liking for you. But of course I’ll never show it. How can I? I see your perfection. I know there are others. What makes me different from them. I just hope one day I can tell you how I feel. Hopefully you’ll feel the same. But what if you don’t? But what if you do?
This is becoming increasingly true.
I think we all know the real reason the government shut down…
serendipity.: it’s weird when people bring you up and i have to say that we don’t...
it’s weird when people bring you up and i have to say that we don’t speak anymore. it’s happening less and less now, looking back on everything and missing it all. come to think of it, i can’t remember the last time i thought about it and missed the friendship. too much time has passed and too much bad shit happened. but i guess when i do get reminded of it, i just feel bad that it was literally all thrown away because you couldn’t own up to anything when i tried so hard to maintain it all. but what’s done is done and we have definitely gown very far apart. to be honest, i don’t think you and i were meant to stay friends forever as much as we thought we would.
There’s nothing wrong with sex, people.
- Having sex every day.
- Saving sex for your wedding night.
- Never having sex.
- Having sex with different people.
- Having sex with one person.
- Having sex with a person of your same gender.
- Loving sex.
- Hating sex.
- Being loud.
- Being quiet.
The only thing wrong with sex?
When it’s not consensual.
Because that’s not sex. That’s rape.
Reblogging again because this post is so important.
(Source: strengthissexy, via the-surfette)
WHY ARE MOSQUITOS EVEN ON THE PLANET THEY HAVE NO SIGNIFICANCE THEY’RE BASICALLY KEVIN JONAS
HOLD IT, HOLD EVERYTHING! Earth is a protected wildlife reserve. Yeah, we’ve been using it to rebuild the mosquito population, which, need I remind you, IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES. IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE MOSQUITOS, YOUR PLANET WOULD HAVE BEEN DESTROYED AGES AGO.
Someone waited their whole life to make this joke
Disney prevails yet again.
(Source: teenapathy, via nosophobic)
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
(Source: pandaaamonium14, via miaishappy)
google is scary accurate nowadays